Lately....

Long long time never update into my blog ad...
Kinda miss you and would like to update you today....
It has been two weeks after my exams.....
Everyday is like nightmare for me....
My life is miserable and I had nightmare almost everyday....
Dreamed about I failed in my exams la.... Have to study again la... Disappointed people who put hope on me la... Disappointed with myself too....
The exams this sem were the most miserable exams for me...
I knew that its my last sem and I needed to make sure that I can graduate on time....
In order to accomplish that goal, I started my studies very very very early...
I never study so early...
I gone through all the lecture notes, make my own notes, make sure I know how to do past year papers....
But who knows.... 人算不如天算...
I think the lecturers want to see me again next sem or next year....
They changed the stupid exam format and came out with the questions that I couldnt do at all (those minor things in the lab which normally we wont care about)...
When I read the questions, I was like..... WHAT THE FUCK....
The questions are like they know me but I din know about them... Not a single questions.....
My tears were rolling in my eyes...
My brain was numb...
My hands were cold and shaking...
I tried to calm myself...
Focus and think...
Drink water to fresh my mind...
Sweets for me not to be panic attack...
I almost finished every questions in the exams...

After the exams, everyone looks very happy...
I think Im the only one who feel so miserable...
My housemates had the 'pre-graduation ceremony' which was held for those people who want to try the feel of graduation and wear those graduation suit last week...
They invited me to go with them... I went with them... They were very happy but I din feel excited at all... maybe Im thinking of whether I can graduate or not...
Everyone looks very happy after last sem...
Maybe they have confident with themself that they will grad on time....
Hrmmm... Who knows...
I dunno why I din feel any better when everyone told me ' you will be fine...'
Maybe Im a stupid and stubborn rabbit.... haha... XD

Nowadays, couldnt really sleep...
Almost everyday lying on the bed... until 2am... 3am.... 4am...
I do not think of anything but just dunno why cant sleep...

Well.... I hope that everything will be fine... everything can go according to my plan...
Please... I just need a pass... I do not want to study anymore...
Hope that everyone is happy, healthy and all the best in everything...